


Two By Two, Hands of Blue

by ohmymaple71



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Anxiety Disorder, Established Relationship, M/M, Modern Era, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Sibling Bonding, i just wanna get back into the swing, idk if its bonding when you just call each other names but the na bros are Doing That, journalist alfred, librarian tolys, this is mostly exposition lol, yes the title is a reference to firefly and not really the fic at all but work with me here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-03-29 17:14:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13931613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmymaple71/pseuds/ohmymaple71
Summary: Tolys liked to think he was observant. He liked to think he knew what was going on in his life, from small things like watering his cactus to bigger things like when his rent was due. He liked to think that, had he mostly moved out of his apartment, he’d notice. That was something that fell into the ‘big things’ category, and Tolys really, really would like to think he’d have noticed it.He did not notice this very big, very important thing.





	1. The Big Things

**Author's Note:**

> Hi i haven't written for fun in so long, and then I cranked this idea out at like 2am before falling asleep, gonna make it a shorty thing to get myself back into the swing of it, excuse how absolutely tiny it is ; u ; I use the name Tolys for Lithuania, but Alfred is still America. Shout out to my friend for always talking stupid AUs with me, god knows we've made enough in six years lol

Tolys liked to think he was observant. He liked to think he knew what was going on in his life, from small things like watering his cactus to bigger things like when his rent was due. He liked to think that, had he mostly moved out of his apartment, he’d notice. That was something that fell into the ‘big things’ category, and Tolys really, really would like to think he’d have noticed it.

And yet, standing against the closed door, he realized just how empty the little space was- the entryway held little more than spare scarves, old gloves and family photographs. Things that were never meant to take centre stage in an apartment, and yet were… the most noticeable things here. 

If he moved from here into the living area, Tolys knew very well it would be just as barebones. Leftover clutter, spare blankets or things that had always blended into the background of his life, never anything he’d put much thought into until now, when he realized half the books he owned weren’t on his shelf, the old wood holding mostly bookends now.

He was a librarian, for fuck’s sake. He should have noticed the disturbing lack of his own books in his own apartment!

But he didn’t. Plain and simple, he had all but moved out of his apartment and into Alfred’s and he hadn’t even noticed. He wasn’t even sure he could place at what point it had started, in the ten months they’d been steady, and that… that was terrifying. That was terrifying, and they hadn’t talked about it or even brought it up in jest but it was undeniable. It wasn’t a plan it just… was. 

He needed a cigarette. Fuck, he needed a cigarette- he’d been doing so well, too.

Picking his way across to the window, Tolys couldn’t seem to open it fast enough. He knew it wasn’t the December chill that had his hands shaking as he fumbled a smoke out of his carton, it wasn’t the night’s air that made his grip on the shitty plastic lighter white-knuckled. Taking a long, deep drag, Tolys tried to ground himself. Tried to focus on the sting of the smoke in his throat, the chill of the window frame he leaned against and not on the fact that at some point, without even fucking realizing it, the dynamic of his relationship had changed.

By the time he was halfway through his third smoke of the night, Tolys had paced the length of his apartment twenty-three times, chewed at his thumb until it had bled, and begun to get the itch under his skin to clean despite it being nearly half past eleven at night. 

He wondered distantly if he could make do by washing his hands until the urge went away, but Tolys knew himself well enough to know that that would only land him with bleeding hands and the set-in of paranoia. Fuck, he really should look into that professionally.

Now rationally, he thought, digging his nails into his palm as ash hit the carpet, he could just call his boyfriend and make sure. Double check. Be sure there weren’t any boundaries being crossed, because Alfred hadn’t said anything about it before, had never commented on the fact that his flat was doubling in things. Never raised a fuss at the increasing amount of nights Tolys ended up there, at the books that kept coming in and never coming back out, and Alfred had never shied away from voicing his thoughts. But… Maybe Tolys just hadn’t listened? Maybe it had come up and he’d missed it, had had it go completely over his head. 

Tucking his arms tighter to himself, Tolys glanced to the stub that was left of his cigarette, contemplating lighting another and pushing back the need to remove the light layer of dust that had built up, the ash in the carpet and surely there was something in the kitchen that would be in need of a scrub. 

There wasn’t. He knew that.

Butting the cigarette out on the brick just outside his window, Tolys let a shaky exhale out. He needed to calm down, because it was nearly one, now, and he had work in the morning. He had to sleep if he didn’t want to be jittery and on-edge all day, but for all it had taken him to run through the scenarios and possibilities in his mind and stop himself from trembling, he felt as if his organs were knotted. There was no way he was going to be able to sleep, not when the thought of everything that had migrated to Alfred’s was on his mind and- God. This was a mess.

Shutting the window, Tolys looked to the clock on his stove, a sigh pushing past his lips and his hands already gathering his hair back from his face. If he started now, he might be able to get at least an hour or two of sleep before the night was through, but he didn’t quite count on it. Sleep was a funny thing, and he had always had trouble finding it so easily, but... well, one needed sleep to survive, and Tolys would very much like to survive.

Turning to the kitchen once more, he resigned himself to the pull he had to clean, figuring at the very least he'd be more calm before the day began.


	2. The Little Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not that that was surprising, of course- for all his perception in his writing, sometimes the most obvious things escaped him. 
> 
> The coffee machine blinked at him.
> 
> Alfred blinked back.

Alfred knew he could be absent minded, but it had never really bothered him. He wasn’t stupid by any means, he liked to think he was pretty smart, but he forgot simple things a lot. Things like the milk he’d left on the counter this morning, or fact that it was sort of weird to have print-outs of bloodstain patterns on his kitchen cupboards when his landlord walked through. 

Small things, really, that only sometimes added up into the big things when his brother texted to remind him that Mom wanted a Sunday dinner again, and that he couldn’t bag off this time because Matthew wasn’t about to deal with bad Bob Ross jokes on his own. Again. 

Alfred’s smart reply had always been to just not go to art school, and the silence his twin gave him in return spoke volumes about how many times they’d argued the topic. Not that Alfred had anything against art school, or his brother, of course. That was just the way they were, the way they’d always been. Ride or die! Die or ride! 

 

Matthew, however, was not the one on his mind when he rubbed at his eyes, the promise of coffee drifting from the machine on his counter. He’d gotten too used to waking up to it, instead of setting it on his own and the thought pulled a tired grin from him- just another small thing Tolys had inadvertently changed for him. Hell, just casting a glance around proved to him just how much of an affect Tolys had had on him- the cluttered chaos he’d thrived in was carefully organized, carefully cleaned- all signs of his boyfriend’s interference. 

Looking even closer, he’d notice that things were… mingled. Mixed. On the back of the mismatched kitchen chairs (the ones that drove Tolys crazy, the reason he’d had an Ikea trip set on his mental ‘to-do’ list for about a month now because even if he didn’t fully understand it all, he wasn’t going to ignore it) he could find one of the sweaters Tolys was fond of, all warm brown wool under his own worn university one. 

 

In the cupboard, there were mugs he’d borrowed from Tolys and forgotten to return, all very simple in contrast to his own. In the fridge, the grape juice he never drank but he bought because he knew Tolys did, the tiny living room with stray books set under and above his own rough drafts, his own red-inked copies. He knew if he looked in his bedroom again, there was the drawer that had, at some point, been set aside for clothes Tolys would store when he stayed the night- an increasing occurrence. 

The most telling fact, maybe, was that Alfred knew very well that in his bathroom the spare toothbrush that had become Tolys’ was in the cup beside his own, there was a small container of hairties and bobby pins, the bottle of aftershave that was different from Alfred’s own set carefully on top of it. For all intents and purposes, this place was as much his own as it was his boyfriend’s, and Alfred just hadn’t noticed.

 

Not that that was surprising, of course- for all his perception in his writing, sometimes the most obvious things escaped him. 

 

The coffee machine blinked at him.

 

Alfred blinked back. 

 

This was a revelation he figured he should have had after his coffee, should have felt some sort of discord with because he knew Tolys, and knew that this was something he’d have talked about if he’d noticed- hell, anyone should have! This was a big thing, a big step, it was another level of commitment that, after only around a year of being serious, should scare him. Or, scare him more than it did- sure, he’d been friends with Tolys for nearly two years prior to anything more, and sure they’d always just clicked, but… something about it made Alfred less scared than he thought he should be. 

 

Weird. 

 

Adding the sugar to his cup on autopilot, he filled it with coffee and moved towards the kitchen chair, pulling his feet off of the chilly tiles and settling cross-legged into the old, creaky one, Alfred cupped it in both hands. This would require a lot more thought, and he knew he had to (and wanted to, really) talk to Tolys about just… moving in. There were more advantages to it than not, and they’d had trials before- it hadn’t been unusual for them to bunker down in one apartment or the other, go about their lives with one place as the setting for the week, or the weekend. It had been nearly two weeks once, that past Easter when he’d introduced Tolys to his family. 

It had worked, they’d managed a balance so easily, and while Matthew was currently the only one with a spare key, Alfred knew it wouldn’t be hard at all to ask his landlord for a third copy. Tolys as it was didn’t have very much, at most they’d have to move some shelves, maybe pick up some clothes-hangers. He’d have to replace his duvet, the one he had was old and falling apart, something he was sure Tolys worried about and… well, it would be nice. Domestic, almost. Fuck, when had he ever thought of this kind of thing, of being domestic and peaceful.

 

It had never been because he didn’t want that kind of life, just because it had never really mattered- if it happened it happened, and now that he was thinking of it… well, it made Alfred feel warm. Content. Maybe he felt this way too easily, loved too hard, too fast but it was easy to picture himself spending the rest of his life with Tolys and-

Fuck. He needed to call Tolys, what time was it? Too morning to catch him, he figured- it was Tuesday, and that meant the other was in the library for the morning. Tolys hadn’t told him that, Alfred had just memorized the patterns of the librarians, helped him figure out what books to take out when to not get questions about rather questionable content. He’d catch him in the evening, then- he had an editorial meeting at three, but that meant Tolys would be home when he got out around six and there would be time for a coffee. Or a late dinner, maybe, who knew- Alfred very much didn’t.

Taking a triumphant sip of coffee, Alfred felt warmed from more than just the lazy morning sun seeping through his window. Today would be a good day, and the first step towards that was this coffee. The second? 

Soundboarding the plan (and probably writing ideas) off of his twin, one of few people who was unafraid entirely to tell Alfred if something was completely stupid or not.

 

Perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a vague idea of where I'm taking this- there will probably be three or four chapters total, which will be....... the only multichapter Ive done that I've finished??? Interesting. Also I think this is shorter than the first chapter but see, I have a bad habit of writing ONLY super late at night so I get tired. Bad habit, gotta fix it!!
> 
> As always, lemme know what you think- I like to think my characterization is good considering how long I've written for hetalia (too long) but I want to know what the general consensus is !!!


End file.
